I apologize to everyone in this section?

I will no longer use this account to multi post and be an *** hole. I am sorry I just have been out of control. If you wanna know my fear of being gay or bi I will tell you the truth. I am afraid of my mother rejecting me. She is phobic. I am afraid of being apart of a minority that is persecuted every day. Overall I am afraid of change. I just feel like I have no control of my life. The whole"born gay thing is discouraging. Because I did do gay things in the past and I cannot take those moments back. Im sorry but kissing a boy at 6 and doing gay since 12...Yeah I know I am not straight. I just can't man up and d anything about it. I can't make changes in my life like that, if i could I would but I can't risk losing anything. Im not in high school anymore either. I mean I still view myself as a child and am also afraid of being an adult and entering that life style. I am so attached to my child life and with a big problem like ual confusion I can't fathom or handle change either. So please know its the internet but you all deserve an apology for me acting like an bigoted fool. Call me a coward if you want. But I can't do it.